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Take Care

Ah! How the time passes by. Isn't it crazy? I really love writing in this blog, but somehow it gets put on the back-burner when I get busy. Such is life; but I think I need to try and stop that...

A major discovery for me lately has been the importance of taking care of my body. I suppose cancer will do that to you; certainly it has made me more conscious of our vulnerability as human beings. I didn't smoke, or drink (too much), or make myself more prone to cancer in any obvious way - and yet I was struck with this disease despite all of that. Their seems to be a contradiction at work that is, well...scary. We all hear of those people who work out daily, eat healthy, and then all of a sudden have a massive heart attack, or something of the sort.

So how can I talk about the seeming randomness of sickness, and the idea of taking care of my body in the same breath? The short answer is that life is filled with this sort of contradiction. I'm finding that it's all about balance. I'm not going to go to the gym every day or stop eating bacon - just won't happen. However, I really enjoy taking the time to go to the gym a few times a week and attempting to eat a balanced diet. I try not to take for granted this body of mine that has already survived so much. Furthermore, I really find that keeping my body in shape also helps keep my mind in shape. Ever try working out after a long, stressful day? Ain't no better way to unwind. The fact is, there is a real satisfaction to taking care of yourself. Sometimes it takes a push to get in the gym, but once I'm there it is so worth it.

It's all a work in progress really, but all that matters is that I'm making progress. Speaking of which, I just had my 4-month check-up/CT Scan last week and got another clean bill of health! Such a relief, it is. Now I look forward to enjoying this wonderful time of year and the gifts that surround me. Including a trip to Rwanda in just 14 days from now! More to come :)

Thankful!

I am a day late, but I must share that this Thanksgiving, there is so much to be thankful for:

I am thankful for my health, for which I truly feel blessed. To have survived cancer after undergoing painful, yet short-term treatment was such a gift this year. It is a gift I will not forget.

I am thankful for my family, friends, and every other person who makes my life what it is today. For giving me strength and support when I most need it, this summer, and always. You are a blessing and I am because we are.

I am full of thanks for the water I have to drink, the food I have to eat, the medicine I have to treat, the shelter I have to live. I am thankful to be a "have" in a world filled with so many "have-nots".

I am grateful for my college education, to have graduated in May as valedictorian of my class and bestowed with the New Era Award. I am thankful for the experience of college, to have opened my eyes and discovered the world and myself; setting in motion a determination to do good in this world. I am thankful for the professors and peers who helped mold this brain; for the gift of education.

I am thankful this year, also, for the opportunity to travel to Rwanda; my first visit to Africa. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn, grow and respond as a human rights activist--to help those people who need our help most.

I am thankful to God for His grace and a life filled with so many gifts.

I am thankful to you for reading and sharing in this blog with me, for the opportunity for me to share the view through my lens.

There is much more for which I am knowingly thankful for and much, much more for which I have reason to be thankful for. But I will end with this excerpt from a wonderful book called "The Message", a contemporary paraphrase of the Bible, from my favorite Psalm (116).

What can I give back to God
for the blessings he's poured out on me?
I'll lift high the cup of salvation—a toast to God!
I'll pray in the name of God;
I'll complete what I promised God I'd do,
and I'll do it together with his people.

Hope in the Face of Terror

Yesterday I saw and heard a great speaker, Immaculée Ilibagiza, speak about how she survived the Rwandan genocide and, perhaps even more astounding, her path towards forgiveness. I had read her book, Left to Tell, a couple of years ago and was blown away by her story. She spent 91 days hiding in a tiny bathroom with seven other women, in total silence, while mobs of Hutu people hunted for her and every other member of the Tutsi tribe. In a matter of 100 days, nearly one million people were slaughtered, in the most intense genocide of the 20th century.

I also saw a remarkable play, this past Friday, called "The Overwhelming" that offered a powerful glimpse into the build-up to the Rwandan genocide and I'm continuing to immerse myself in reading, in preparation for my trip to Rwanda in January.

The story of this tiny country is tragic. What truly terrifies me, is the fact that everyday people (not military, not trained terrorists, not criminals), turned on their neighbors, friends, and fellow people; they began a mass slaughtering of people, in the most gruesome ways imaginable.

How are we, human beings, capable of such acts?

To distance ourselves from these people, would only ignore the fact that we are all capable of such atrocities. I think that is a hard truth. And yet it is so important to acknowledge. Do we too, not justify taking the lives of others? We may call it collateral damage, but in that definition lies our ability to objectify human life. Certainly, they are different circumstances, but is our dropping bombs on people any more "right" than Hutu killing Tutsi?

Still, Immaculée offers us hope with her message. She travels around the world sharing her story of forgiveness. Through her deep faith in God, she is able to forgive those people who killed her mother, her father, her brothers and her people. I think that whatever your religion is (or isn't), there is so much power in that forgiveness - so much hope for humanity. We may all be capable of doing terrible things, but we are also capable of forgiving, of making peace, of loving.

A couple of weeks ago I also finished an amazing book called Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela. What an incredible life Mandela has lived. Offering another example, as he spent 27 years in prison, but was able to forgive a race that so brutally oppressed him. It is easy to hold people like Mandela and Immaculée in a high, unreachable place, as though they are super-human beings. Perhaps the most poignant lesson that I have learned in reading their stories and hearing Immaculée speak, is that they are (in fact) human beings - like you and me. Therein lies that hope I speak of. We are all capable of great things, if we allow ourselves to love, instead of hate.

Mandela sums up this important lesson with this quote from his autobiography: "No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."

Vaccinations

Today I received what the nurse called "the deluxe package" of vaccinations in preparation for my trip to Rwanda. Speaking of which, did I even mention that I'm going to Rwanda?! On December 30th I leave for a trip of a lifetime. I will join young leaders from around the world for the UNESCO International Leadership Programme: A Global Intergenerational Forum in Kigali, Rwanda. Together, we will learn, grow and advance human rights around the world. I am so unbelievably excited for this opportunity.

Back to the deluxe package of vaccinations though. As the doctor at the travel clinic was giving me instructions and prescriptions, this thought came to me: here I am getting all of these vaccinations and pills for things like Malaria, while over 900,000 people - mostly children - will die from this same disease this year. I literally walk in to a travel clinic, get a few shots and a prescription, pay nothing, and walk out defended against deadly viruses and diseases. At the same time, the exact same virus or disease is killing someone because they do not have access to this medicine.

What's wrong with this picture? Why are children dying en masse every day from something that I was so easily vaccinated for? Is my life worth more than their lives?

These are the questions that fester in my mind. Quite honestly, they anger me. I am thankful that I have such access to these life-saving medicines, but angry that we can live in such an unjust world. That's what it boils down to: justice. There is nothing just about children dying from a mosquito bite, when a treatment exists. Period.

These vaccinations remind me why I am going to this forum. We should feel bad about having such access to resources, while others perish from a lack of resources. And then we should act on that feeling. I go to this forum knowing that we can collectively achieve great things and that we have the power to do so. Together, in solidarity with those we seek to help, we can advance human rights. It is up to us to vaccinate the world from disease, viruses, hunger, hatred, and hopelessness.

Here Am I

Went to St. Eulalia mass today and was blown away by this song. It was beautifully sung by Cheryl Pongratz and perfectly played by Michael Larson on piano.

The lyrics are written by Brian Wren, and they say all that needs to be said:

Here am I,
Where underneath the bridges
Of our winter cities
Homeless people sleep.

Here am I,
Where in the decaying houses
Little children shiver,
Crying at the cold.

Where are you?

Here am I,
With people in the lineup
Anxious for a handout,
Aching for a job.

Here am I,
When pensioners and strikers
Sing and march together,
Wanting something new.

Where are you?

Here am I,
Where two or three are gathered
Ready to be altered,
Sharing wine and bread.

Here am I,
Where those who hear the preaching
Change their way of living,
Find the way to life.

Where are you?

Perspective

My battle with cancer was (thankfully) short-lived and is now over, but my perspective on life has changed forever. During these last three months, since my final chemo treatment, my experience has had time to settle and sink in. I admit that there are times when I almost allow myself to forget; when I just bury the whole thing. But then I force myself to shake it back into my consciousness.

Why?

Because, what really matters in life? What is important? Is it getting angry at the driver in front of me, stressing about all the work I have to get done, or worrying about what "they" think of me? Are these important? It's a question worth pondering. I try to remind myself just how unimportant those things really are in my life. I'm no self-help writer and I certainly will not tell you what is important in your life; that's up to you to decide.

I survived cancer, with only a glimpse of the pain, suffering, and tragedy that so many other cancer patients, family and friends endure. I have seen it in my office where I work with a woman who continues to fight brain cancer and another woman who has just lost her husband to bladder cancer. My heart goes out to them. I feel such a deep connection to the disease and those who suffer from it.

What is so important to me, is that I have my health. I am so incredibly fortunate to have that. And I won't allow myself to forget it.